So much longing.

You'd think a love story that began over coffee and crumpled tissue paper would end how most sordid coffee-shop-love-tales end, crumpled, used and forgotten.
you'd think a love story that began over a guitar and the doors would end with a broken, weeping instrument lying lonely in a corner. And not aching to be played.
you'd think over time we'd realize how foolish we have been. That love wouldn't stay, not because the mystery of the connection would no longer stay...but because there would be no connection at all.
you'd think over time we'd tire, dream a little less, want a little less...anger, hate a little more.
you'd think over time this too, would fade away, perhaps gather some dust, spitter-spatter and die out. But No.
you'd think that small happiness wouldn't matter as much...ice-cream,holding hands, looking at each other. Truth is they always do.
you'd think maybe time would heal, time would teach, time would tell. time would tear us apart, and not leave us longing. you'd think that names scrawled on ruled paper would be left with those teenage years, you'd think you'd be able to swallow. And eventually it would die.
Not come back, stronger than before.
you'd think you'd understand what is, and what will never be. Make some peace, find some happiness. You'd think work would heal. And truth is it would. But how much and how long?
You'd think seeing, holding and talking wouldn't be so fucking difficult because life couldn't be just SO cruel. You'd think you wouldn't suffer. You wouldn't care. You wouldn't need. You'd be okay alone.
you'd think that when he comes and tell you all, you'd scutter and run. Not breakdown, and hurt through the night, the next day, and fall more in love.
you'd think over time, time would leave you be and ease the longing.

And you'd think maybe, just maybe...love will find a way