Monday Musings - 36

I like walking in the grass. It makes me think of my white sneakers, soiled with time. Their pink laces with black spots gleaming like lights in the distance. It makes me wonder why you wash your sneakers at all? I like mine worn out. Marked with a little bit of everywhere they've been. And, then I wonder why you like your books untouched, unscathed, clean? I much rather like them soiled, and crumpled, with tears, or trickles of laughter and thoughts sliding from one page to another- who I was when I read them. I like knowing cities by walking in them.

I like watching its people. The cycle rickshaw wallah - back arched, eyes decieving, sweat trickling down his foreheard when you pay him. The boy at the store - young, and out-of-school who helps you carry your bags. He watches you at the bank. Is he impatient? Does he wonder what you do, and who you are, and where you're from? Or is he thinking about when ever will he step in to the bank?

I like dreaming when I'm walking. I used to be the girl snuggled up behind Malory Towers and St. Clares and live imaginary worlds alone. I used to dream of packing my bags, and setting foot in a strange land. Of secrets on bunk beds, and trips to nowhere, and friends from everywhere. Then, I'd savor the make-believe gingerbread cookies mother sent me. I'd look forward to when they visit, family. Oh, how I dreamed of that day. Waited for the time...

And, here I am walking through the streets and gardens...and here I am alone. The little girl's dream. I can remember the sound of my house in the morning. The clankering of vessels, the doorbells, the in-and-out of vendors, and house-help. I can hear you whisper from long ago. I can hear the wind playing truant outside my window. I can remember the sound of the car engine. The words lost in time. The laughter in closed rooms, and open spaces. If I try hard, I can smell Mumbai, sometimes. I can feel the sunlight cast morning shadows. And, the train chug in the distance.

I am, as if, lost in two dreams, this Monday. And, two worlds. It leaves me wanting endless hours to walk, and sit, and wait and savour. It leaves many cups of chai undone. Will this be over, before I know it? Will I still be left wanting, then? Or, will I then be ready to leave? ~Lately it seems we've been chasing, what times resolved, maybe something means nothing here, after all ~

[More Monday Musings here ]